Under the Weather

I went to the doctor and got sick. I wasn't sick when I went to the doctor. I noticed blue semi-circles between my iris and my corneas on the inside of my eyes. Figured it would be a good idea to get it checked out. Three days later I've got a headache and am coughing up all sorts of fun-colored things. Sweet.

Open mics are in jeopardy this week if I don't feel better. Boo. They were going to be Monday and Thursday. Have to see how I feel.

Incredibly Tired of Politics

Prepare to go bankrupt trying to get to work every day. How ironic.

No Shit

If you didn't already know this, you should.

March Madness Live(ish) Blog

(12:40 pm) Memphis got pantsed at the beginning of the game, but have caught up. Good. They deserve it. Overrated fuckers can't play defense.

I'm worried at Butler. I know it's early and I have them losing next round, but I still want them to beat LSU. No particular reason.

I don't remember who I have in the BYU - A&M game. I think in one bracket it's A&M and another BYU. I don't really care about either team. 

I'll be blogging live until my battery dies as I am on a bus to Syracuse (GO ORANGE! tomorrow). 

(12:45) Goddamn LSU. Butler, what the hell? I believed in you and you are letting me down! We are no longer friends. This would be a lot more fun if I could actually watch it and didn't have to follow CBS' GameCenter (my computer doesn't support video).

(12:47) Memphis is tied with Northridge. HA!

40 minutes left on my battery. Boo.

(12:48) Memphis has 5 fouls already. If they survive this game, it will be wake-up call to the rest of the world that apparently thinks Memphis is amazing. But they are no where near as good as last year. No defense. I should know. I'm a Syracuse fan. They can't play defense this year worth shit.

(12:50) No updates....stupid Internet.

(12:51) Tyreke Evans for Memphis just went out with 2 fouls and 12 minutes left in the first. Northridge is giving them a run for their money. I hope we get a 2-15 upset. I didn't pick it, but it would make me a happy man.

(12:52) And Robert Dozier (Memphis) is now sitting with two fouls and 12 minutes left. Nice. Northidge up 17-16.

(12:54) A&M up 11 on BYU. I still don't care.

(12:55) Under 12 TV Timeout. Memphis is being outrebounded and has 7 team fouls to Northridge's 4. Memphis does have fewer turnovers and more steals. but with two starters on the bench with 2 fouls and Northridge shooting 55% and up by one...well, that doesn't mean all that much just yet, but it gives me hope of a huge upset. Go MATADORS!

(12:57) CBS has finally caught up to the rest of the world. Memphis is up 6, BYU is down 16 and Butler is hanging in there, but not looking so good. This is why no one should ever trust any of my picks for anything. Go Matadors!

(12:59) Memphis is sticking it to me. Under 8 timeout, three starters with two fouls and still up 4. Oh, you pesky Tigers. Northridge does not like sharing the ball. Only 1 assist to Memphis' 8. 

(1:01) For those concerned, my stocks are trending downward today.

(1:02) 27 minutes left on my battery.

(1:04) CBS has stopped loading again. Bollocks!

(1:05) Back again! Battery dropped from 27 minutes to 11 in 3 minutes. Boo. Memphis is still up by 4 and BYU and Butler are still getting hammered. BYU is closing the gap, though, down 8.

(1:07) Butler down 9!!! Keep it rollin! To hell with LSU and their Tiger business. You're Butler!

(1:08) Northridge has already racked up 11 turnovers. No good if you want to beat a team like Memphis.

Battery dead! Gotta go!

NBC Exec Jeff Zucker doesn't like pie on his face

This douche lashed out at Jon Stewart for taking CNBC to task for it's awful news-reporting ethics. There's no backlash against Stewart and The Daily Show. There's anger that this bullshit happened on your watch when you're supposed to be the ultimate financial news network covering all things business. You missed this shit because you were glad-handing CEOs and Execs and not holding their feet to the fire about the lies coming out of their mouths. Now that someone has caught you, you're saying its unjustified. What a douche.

New President, Same Bullshit

Check it out here.

For those of you who do not know, a signing statement is a tool that, until recently (last few decades) hadn't really been used by the Executive Branch to serve any sort of political purpose. But under Presidents Clinton and Bush, most strikingly Bush, signing statements became well-defined instructions on how the Executive Branch was supposed to execute legislation. This sounds all good and well, except that both Clinton and Bush used signing statements to completely gut the intention of the bills that were signed. Instead of straight-forward instructions, often times the administration would outline ways to circumvent the bill they just signed; they would limit the scope of the bill and who it applied to or in what situations it applied; they would create exceptions to the rules that were just signed into law. Basically, if the bill just signed into law were a big scary, muscely dude meant to enforce some restriction on the political policy of the administration, a signing statement, under Bush and less-often Clinton, would be the giant sword that would swoop in and cut off big, scary muscely dude's arms and legs leaving him a useless, destitute and scarred shell of a human who can enforce nothing.

It would appear Obama might be up to the same shenanigans. We must wait for clarification and then not take them at their word. Because no politician should ever be taken at his or her word.

We Are Country Mice!!! Again!!!

I pity all of those who said they were going to see the band We Are Country Mice with me and then did not go. Why? you might ask. Because they rocked my face off. And they did such a great job that it took me an hour to find my face after it had been thoroughly rocked off.

These guys have a unique sound that I enjoy. It's kind of like folk rock, country and hard rock had a dirty one-night-stand threesome and somehow managed to produce a child that inherited genes from all three. Graphic.

On top of that, these are some incredibly humble, down-to-earth and just plain-old nice guys. Sure, a very good, nay, great friend of mine is the dummer. But like I said to him and the lead vocalist, "If you guys weren't any good and I didn't like the music, I wouldn't keep coming back."

They have another show on March 26th. That's a Thursday. It's late; they're playing at 11pm. But I'm pretty sure I'll be there once again.

Personal Vendetta

Unless you and I were friends before I entered the fourth grade, chances are you've never seen me without someone sort of belly (gut, beer belly, overhang, undercarriage, etc.). Around that time I started putting on weight that, even at my most physically fit, never was able to completely eradicate from existence. I'm not completely disillusioned: My family history, bone structure and general physique will never allow me to be "skinny" or even "thin." The best I figure I can do is "lean." And even then, lean might make me look poorly-proportioned as my head would still be massive. I'm sure I could also build up some serious muscle mass and convert my embarrasing man-boobage into some rippling man-boobage, but that avenue of total buff-ness paired with complete inflexibility (I may have just made up a word) never interested me. I just want to be healthy and not have to worry about sweating after climbing a flight of stairs.

All of this came about a few days ago while I was contemplating life on the magic chair (toilet) and thought to myself, "I wonder what I would look like if I didn't have a belly." I don't remember what I looked like pre-fourth grade. It's been so long, I can't imagine what I would look like. But curiosity has gotten the best of me and I'm aiming to find out. This has no greater world impact, but I just thought you loyal readers out there might be interested in my goings-ons.

On a much less inspiring note, my job hunt blows. There are no leads and unless something breaks soon, I'm going to have to leave my wonderful abode in NYC for greener pastures in a far less urban environment.

Politics Kills People

Read here.

I'm late on this...

...but it deserves commentary anyway. Jim Cramer got hammered on The Daily Show by Jon Stewart. Part of me is glad. He became the face of this debate between CNBC and The Daily Show (unfairly, as Jon Stewart noted). He had his feet held to the fire. He had to answer extremely difficult questions and was able to admit mistakes and wrongdoing. He kept and open mind and ear to what Stewart said and, along the lines of what Jon Stewart pointed out, if Cramer didn't spend all his time yelling and hitting buttons that make silly noises, he would be able to do the things that Cramer says he wants to do (prosecute corporate criminals in the public court). I'm sure this an excrutiating and awkward experience for Cramer that was extremely unpleasant. I'm also glad for this. Much like a show trial, it gives at least some people the consolation that someone is answering to the crap that CNBC puts out into the world. Being the cynic that I am, I also know this won't change anything. This will not be a "Crossfire with Tucker Carlson and his retarded bow-tie" incident where two days later the show is canceled. CNBC will continue to air its garbage and the reporters will continue to take what CEOs and other financial dickfaces have to say at face value and we will all continue to suffer.

On the flip side of all this, I admire the fact that for once, someone that The Daily Show criticizes (aside from Bill O'Reilly) actually went on the show to answer questions about the beef The Daily Show had with what was going on. Props to Cramer for going on the show and having his feet held to the fire; for taking the abuse from Stewart with good nature and not losing his cool. He took the jabs and lumps on the chin and kept going. That's admirable. Whether it will change anything he does, I have no idea. Maybe he learned something from Jon Stewart swearing and getting upset. Even so, Nardelli refused to go on the show. And I doubt you'll Kudlow or any of the other CNBC hacks talking to Jon Stewart anytime soon. So, kudos to Cramer, as well as a hefty shame-on-you to him and all of his CNBC compatriots. I think of all of those losers, Cramer is the least objectionable (despite all the yelling). Big Kudos to Stewart for being serious throughout this interview and taking issue and initiative to not back down. And kudos to the Internet for allowing me to watch it online.

Madoff Goes to Jail...

...will be released in two weeks. Okay, so maybe it won't be two weeks. But we all know that Madoff is headed to a posh, minimum security prison for old, white corporate criminals, regardless of whether he broke federal law. In all fairness though, I think that all non-violent offenders should go to, at the most, medium security prisons. That way, these devious corporate criminals can hook up with non-violent drug offenders and can set up some sort of lucrative business together. Or perhaps some of the non-violent drug offenders from the hood can help the corporate criminals to be more humble and appreciate the amazing things they have (well, had). Or at least once these corporate types get out of prison and access all of their hidden assets to start a new business, they can hire some of these non-violent felons they met in the slammer and help lower the recidivism rate. It would be a service to us all. Maybe. At least it might work better than what we got going on now.

Pelosi Continues to Be an Idiot.

Morons in Congress. Why am I surprised? I have no idea. I shouldn't be. No one should be. My guess is that Pelosi is a vindictive, jealous bitch who still cannot get over the fact that everyone likes Obama a lot more than her (see also:  Senator Reid). Thus, this idiotic hooplah and posturing by Pelosi. Grow up. No one likes you. (With good reason).

Open Mics!!!

I've neglected to inform the loyal readers how my first (and now second) open mic went. Unfortunately, I still don't have any video or audio of the performances. All in do time.

Thursday's open mic went well, for the most part. There was only one screw up. I got some laughs. I received some decent feedback about my performance. I wasn't really nervous on stage, which I assume is because the lights were bright enough that I couldn't see anyone. I did my jokes. Some people laughed. It was fun.

Monday's did not go as well. Many fewer people laughed. I got uncomfortable on stage because of that fact. I'm pretty sure after a while I just ended up rushing through my jokes to get off stage. Although, at one point, I did have the MC for the evening in stitches. No one else, really. I wasn't able to stick around to get feedback, but as I was leaving one dude did congratulate me and said I did well. So maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. 

Tuesday is a new day for new jokes. Maybe this time I'll actually record myself.

Despicable

This is the kind of stuff that  makes your stomach turn. Of course, I'm not surprised. This kind of stuff is very well-documented in Charlie Savage's book, Takeover. It's just another cog in the alarmingly brazen attempt by the Bush Administration to expand Presidential Powers beyond anything imaginable. 

What does bother me is that Obama will not completely denounce and end the practice of extraordinary rendition. Even if we don't send suspects to countries that torture, it's a tainted practice and perception is reality. Other nations won't believe us just because we say so. We lost that credibility.