Farewell, New York.

Alas, it is true. This time next week I will be back in the unbridled and uncivilized north east form whence I came from. I'm trading in the concrete jungle for the jungle of less concrete and more Red Sox fans. I'm dispending of the Nuw Yuohrk dialect for the harsh sounds of the Bahstahn pronunciations. My destination will hopefully have greener pastures. It definitely has cheaper rent.

Times like these cause me to stereotypically reflect on the many things I will be sacrificing by departing the City of New York. To milk the cliche, I will tell you about them.

I will be leaving behind fare hikes and hobos; hipsters and friends; a decent, albeit dirty and smelly subway system; and the many thousands of feet of concrete I have walked. I leave behind bars with themes and gimmicks, museums and art galleries unexplored, holes in the wall, dives and diners unexperienced. There are many a-tap dispensing many a-beer I have not yet sampled that will go unappreciated by my taste buds. There are monuments and statues and parks and ponds that, at least with this go-around, I won't get to see.

With all the things I'm leaving behind, there are even more that I can easily say I am lucky to take with me. The appreciation of fresh, unscented air being included on that list.

So much has happened over the last 18 months that has led to some kind of personal growth. New York City played host to more than I could imagine might happen in one place. I've been hired for my first real-world, professional job. And laid off a week before my one-year anniversary due to a painfully bad economy. New York City has seen me grace the sage of a comedy club for numerous open mics and three actual, real shows. For a guy with debilitating stage fright, awkward nervousness and performance anxiety, it was quite a feat. I've met some special people (not the differently-abled kind) who have become close friends and seen others who were close fade into the horizon. Those special people have been there for me during the most difficult times and celebrated with me during the good times. I've been able to experience some of the best that New York has to offer and I was able to do so with the most special of all people, my girlfriend. I've been kicked out of an apartment for not doing my dishes immediately after I used them and managed to find a new apartment and move within a week. In that apartment, I learned more about gay people, terminology and culture from one of the best, if not the best, roommate I've ever had. I've been witness to a great friend of mine take a tiny little dream and turn it into a blossoming reality; and I've enjoyed the amazing music that has come out of it. For 18 months, I made it in the most expensive and, depending on who is opining, one of the toughest places to get by in the US. And the only reason I'm saying farewell is because the last one hired is the first one fired (laid off doesn't rhyme).

My girlfriend was worried that I would be resentful to leave New York City because my dreams of making it here were ruined. I may not have done everything I had planned to do while I was here (mainly get a job in advertising), but to look back on all of the things I've done, experienced, survived, seen, heard, felt, it's difficult to feel like I haven't experienced enough. It's difficult to say that New York hasn't given me enough of what it has to offer for me to be resentful; for me to feel like I didn't have enough time here. We always wish for more time. We always wish we had done things we didn't get a chance to do. We always look back and wonder what might have been if things were done differently. I know I have. But I don't believe that I will look back and say that I didn't get enough. New York has taken more than it's fair share out of me. But if I truly felt like I was getting hosed, I would've left long ago.

This is my adieu, New York City. I'm sure I will miss you much more than you will miss me. I'm sure at some point I will be back. I am fairly young and dreams have a hard time of dying on my watch. That and they have these nifty bus thingies that run between New York and Boston that only cost like, $15, $20. I'm sure it won't be too much of a hassle to visit.

Tentative Portfolio Website

Until I can either learn how to do it myself or find someone awesome enough to do it for me, this will be my tentative portfolio website.

If you are an advertising person with the power to hire cool dudes like me, check it out.

Or if you're not, check it out anyway. 

Clicking here makes thingies do stuff.

No Beer

Due to the prevailing economic downturn and its affect on my employment, there will be no more beer of the week posts. Not that there ever were to begin with. But I can't afford it. So TS if you were looking forward to that. 

If you want advice on beer, just comment or e-mail me or something. I'm pretty sure the only people who read this already know me anyway.

I have gotten lazy

...or busy.

Either way it's been two weeks since I've graced the world wide web with my thoughts and anecdotes.

In that time I've wowed the likes of, well, about 30 people at a comedy club. I had two more shows recently. One went better than it could have. I got blindsided by a no-show of fans (and by fans, I mean very generous and supportive friends) and was relegated to the last spot of the night and a mere 3 minutes on stage. With those three minutes, I made the only four people left in the club laugh a couple of times. I consider it a success.

Then the big show! Friday night! Headlining! (Only because all of my generous and supportive friends showed up late or did not show at all and I had to be bailed out by some good-natured friends from college who I hadn't seen in forever). For 8 minutes (well, about 7 minutes and 15 seconds....my first joke did not go over well) I had 'em laughing. It was a rush I tells ya. Or a moderate increase in good feelings. Or somewhere between the two.

To add to awesomeness of having a show go incredibly well (some might argue [that some being me] it was my best show yet!), I got to stand in a nifty sports bar and watch the Pittsburgh Penguins pants the Red Wings in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup! Hoorah!

And to top it all off, my good mate from Trinidad was visiting that weekend. We shared drinks and laughs and good times and if it didn't sounds so gay, I'd say it was magical. (Sounds really gay).

Now the real world is smacking me in the face again and I must work harder than I ever worked when I had a job. Awesome.

Triple-Hops Brewed Really Means Nothing.

There's a funny thing about the Miller Lite commercials that talk about adding hops three times during the brewing process.

I've been reading up on home brewing. Just about every single brewer adds hops at least three times, if not more. You add the first batch to bitter the beer, the second and third to flavor and create a distinct aroma for the beer. It's pretty much standard practice to do this. So...Miller Lite, you're not doing anything special and your beer is nothing special.

In fact, it's awful.

Kudos to them for playing on everyone's ignorance/lack of knowledge about the brewing process to sell their product, though. That's rather cunning.

Camouflage

I thought it might be good to give all of the wonderful future-fans of my stand up comedy a sampling of the jokes I DON'T use so that you can get a taste of the stuff that isn't good enough to make it into my set:

I am weary of all those who wear camouflage and are not on some kind of battlefield. If you're not engaged in some sort of combat or combat-like exercises or playing an extremely intense game of hide and seek, there is no reason for camouflage. It's not a fashion statement. You look like you're lost.

I Have Two Shows This Week!!!

I have two comedic performances this week! That's 200% more than I had last week. Your attendance is requested and will be greatly appreciated.

The first show is Wednesday, June 10th at New York Comedy Club (241 East 24th Street near 2nd Ave). The show starts at 9pm, and if it goes like it did last time, I will be on sometime between 10 and 10:30pm. There is a $10 cover (boo!) and a 2 drink minimum (also boo!).

The second show is Friday, June 12th at EastVille Comedy Club (85 East 4th Street near 2nd Ave). The show starts at 7pm. There is a $10 cover and a two drink minimum.

The cover and drink minimums suck, especially in these most unfortunate of times. But I would really appreciate your attendance. If I suck, you can mock me (I probably won't suck. You can still mock me if it will make you feel better). And of course, the more people I bring, the more they'll invite me back. So your attendance will be appreciated to no end by me.

Hope to see your wonderful, smiling face.

Wasteful Spending

Wasteful government spending during wartime. No surprises there. The biggest beneficiary of this wasteful spending being KBR, the conglomerate that has Haliburton, the company Dick Cheney used to be on the board of? Yeah, still not all that surprised from the administration that functioned entirely on cronyism. Thanks.

This is Why We Need Healthcare Reform

Things like this really shouldn't be happening in America. We need a public healthcare system so shit like this stops happening.