Stuff like this exists and I still can't get a job

I did not find this. In fact, this is probably old news, but it's both incredibly disturbing and incredibly hilarious. 

Car dealerships need to stop doing their own commercials. 

In fact, here and now I am offering my services to any and all car dealerships that need advertising. I am offering these services for the following compensation:  I need a monthly unlimited MetroCard, a stipend for food, and the dealership is responsible for paying for production. 

I offer my services at such a steal because I care so much about the average TV-viewer having their day/afternoon/evening/night/life ruined by these absolutely atrocious pieces of crap that I am willing to work for almost nothing. 

If you're anything even remotely like me, bad advertising upsets you. I want there to be a day when the majority of ads on TV are good. A tall order, but it's doable. Especially if you don't count any and all commercials after 11:00pm and before 8:00am.