Not everyone has a handy dandy pair of 3D fucking glasses sitting around the house to slap on when your idiotic, fucknut ads come on to waste everyone's time. Perhaps I missed the memo and should've known to where I could've gotten a boss pair, dude, but either way, I don't have one. So, instead of your ads looking real cool and me being all excited about Pixar's next movie, I felt like I had just dropped some acid while babysitting my neighbor's kids. Sweet. What a waste of money.
Also, Bruce Springsteen and his E-Street Band can suck it. When are they going to get a musical act that actually pumps people up for a second half of football? Give me some Metallica, some Disturbed, something that actually has a pair dangling between its legs. Honestly, the only thing the Boss inspires me to do is kill myself before I get as old as he does so no one has to watch me waddle around making a fool out of myself. His face looks stretched out enough that if strains too hard his face will split open and start spraying blood all over the 45-year old stripper they keep showing with the huge fake tits and no bra. I know they're fake because they don't move when she jumps around. That shit ain't natural. I do give props to the people with the neon, glow in the dark shirts. Great way to get noticed.
Also, are the people on the field the people that used to be in the stands, or do you have to get a separate ticket to see the Boss and his assbag band? Cuz if so, the NFL guys are geniuses and people are fucking stupid. Maybe they take all the people that didn't pay extra to see the boss go into a soundproof room in the belly of the stadium so they can't hear it. None of this would surprise me. You don't get to be the most profitable sports franchise in the US of A by giving shit away for free.
I wish they had Prince do the halftime again. At least when he did it, he used his crazy guitar to make it look like he had a gigantic cock. Take that, kiddies! Bring back Janet! I wanna see some boobies! I'd sound good with a gigantic chorus backing me too!
More Cowbell!!!!
Born in the USA is a song about going home after being away for a while and realizing all your friends have become degenerate losers who never amounted to anything. Good thing this song is Glory Days, which is probably about the same thing. I'd tell you definitively, but most of the Boss' songs sound the same to me. I actually didn't notice that he had changed songs until Glory Days came on because the songs all sounded the same.
Who the fuck is that fat, ugly ass, messy-toothed guitarist and who allowed him to get close to a camera. I've seen more attractive hobos late at night on the subway.
Thank God that's over. Longest 12 minutes of my life. Except for the 12 minutes it took for my boss to tell me I was laid off. OOOOOO, Zing on me!
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